Here’s something most people won’t tell you about achieving your dreams:

Your self-image must align with the life you’re trying to create.

I’ve seen it happen time and time again. A brilliant, capable woman sets a big goal, and then sabotages herself right before she reaches it. Or she achieves it and immediately feels like an imposter. Or she never even starts because deep down, she doesn’t believe she deserves it. I have done this too; it’s a common problem, but not insurmountable.

If your sense of deserving isn’t wide and deep enough to hold your dream, you’ll fall short. Every time.

So let me ask you: Do you actually believe you deserve what you’re working toward?

You Deserve Your Dream. Period. Full stop.

Here’s the truth: If you’re breathing, you deserve to have your heart’s desire.

I know that might sound too simple. Too easy. But stay with me.

You wouldn’t feel the longing if you didn’t have the capacity to create it. That desire isn’t random. It’s not punishment. It’s a calling.

Simply by virtue of being alive, you are worthy and deserving of your dreams. Not because you earned it through suffering. Not because you finally became “good enough.” But because you’re here, and that matters.

But I get it, knowing you deserve something intellectually and actually FEELING deserving? Whoa, those are two different things.

So let’s talk about how to expand your sense of deserving so it can actually hold the life you’re building.

3 Keys to Expanding Your Sense of Deserving

1. Stop Looking for What’s Wrong and Start Looking for What’s Good

Real talk: Circumstances aren’t inherently good or bad. They just ARE. You’re the one deciding what they mean.

When life throws you a curveball (and it will), your first instinct might be to panic. To spiral. To see it as proof that things are falling apart.

But what if you paused instead?

What if you gave yourself a minute to ask: “What if there’s something good trying to emerge from this? What am I not seeing yet?”

I’m not talking about toxic positivity or pretending problems don’t exist. I’m talking about refusing to automatically assign the worst possible meaning to every challenge.

Here’s your practice:

The next time something goes sideways, pause before you react. Take a breath. Ask yourself: “What’s the opportunity here? What might this be teaching me? What good could come from this?”

And while you’re at it? Give yourself the same benefit of the doubt you’d give your best friend.

You are not fundamentally broken. You are not a problem to be fixed. You are inherently good, not because you’ve done everything right, but because you’re here and you matter.

2. Put Down the Baggage You’ve Been Carrying

You can’t walk confidently into the life you’ve imagined while lugging around deadweight from the past.

I’m talking about:

• The shame from the mistakes you made years ago
• The belief that you’re not lovable because of what someone else did to you
• The story you’ve been telling yourself about why you don’t deserve good things
• The childhood wounds you keep replaying

When you persist in carrying baggage from your past, you have no room for new possibilities. Your hands are full. Your heart is closed. Your energy is tied up in what was instead of what could be.

Here’s what to do:

Take inventory. What old stories are you still carrying? What shame are you holding onto? What past version of yourself are you still punishing?

Name it. Look at it. And then consciously decide to put it down.

I’m not saying this is easy. I’m not saying you do it once and you’re done. But you can start. Today. Right now.

Ask yourself: “What would I be capable of if I wasn’t carrying this anymore?”

Then take one step in that direction.

3. Use Gratitude to Build a Foundation of Deserving

I talk about gratitude a lot because it works. Not in a “manifestation magic” kind of way, but in a very real, practical way.

When you practice gratitude, you shift your focus from what’s missing to what’s already here. From scarcity to abundance. From “I’m not enough” to “I have enough, I am enough.”

An attitude of gratitude gives you a solid foundation to build your dream on—a foundation rooted in deserving, not desperation. When you look for the good, it increases.

Start with this:

Spend one day giving thanks to people you’ve criticized. Yes, really.

That coworker who annoys you? Find something to appreciate about them. That family member who pushes your buttons? Acknowledge something they do well. That part of yourself you’ve been judging? Thank it for trying to protect you.

This isn’t about being fake or pretending everything is perfect. It’s about training your brain to look for good instead of automatically looking for flaws.

Then build from there. Make gratitude a daily practice. Not just “I’m grateful for my health and family” (though that’s fine), but specific, in-the-moment appreciations.

“I’m grateful I had the courage to have that hard conversation.” “I’m grateful my body carried me through that workout.” “I’m grateful I showed up for myself today.”

After my fall, I’m grateful to stand and walk EVERY DAY!

When you start appreciating what you once condemned or took for granted, something shifts. Your sense of deserving expands. And you start noticing more good flowing into your life—not because the universe is rewarding you, but because you’ve trained yourself to see it.

Your Sense of Deserving Is Expandable

Here’s what I need you to hear: Your current sense of deserving is not fixed. It’s not permanent. It’s expandable.

When you practice these three principles—focusing on good, releasing old baggage, and building gratitude—your sense of deserving will grow. As it grows, you’ll start noticing unexpected opportunities, connections, and possibilities emerging.

Not because you manifested them with perfect thoughts, but because you finally made room for them.

So here’s my question: What would your life look like if you truly believed you deserved your dream?

What would you do differently today?

Start there.

Because sis, you ARE worthy. Not because I said so. Not because you finally did enough or became enough.

But because you’re here. And that’s reason enough.

Ready to build a life you love? Download my free gratitude guide. Click the pop-up; it works if you work it. 

P.S. Want support in discovering and building your dreams?

In between my coaching and speaking schedule, I carve out a few strategy sessions each month. If you would like a complimentary strategy session (Value = $250), simply contact me here.