Category: Joy

Lean Toward Kindness

We are here for the lessons. Every life experience comes to us packed with information for our growth and development. When we have the feeling that life is happening to us and that we are repeating an unpleasant experience, it is wise to re-examine the event for the lesson.

We are here to live mindfully, joyfully and with awareness.  That doesn’t mean that we won’t have difficulties, but we can learn to modulate our responses.

I awakened this morning with an insight: I want to be a person whose default is kindness, and I am welcoming that type of person to my life.

I am not here dish out unpleasantness or to be ready with the cutting payback. I have put them all in cold storage. I’m not interested, and I have retired from sarcasm. I am working not to have to apologize for my speech or explain that I was just kidding. I want to be kind and to surround myself with loving people. There is a Maya Angelou quote: “When people show you who they are, believe them.” It’s repeated because it’s true.

I once met a man that said something very unpleasant within the first few hours of our first date. I confronted him immediately, and we both laughed it off; however, that was a pivotal moment that I failed to recognize. I later learned that this person’s default is to be mean. He has to concentrate and work hard to be kind; it doesn’t come naturally to him.  I would not trade my friendship or experiences with that person for anything, but I can work on being more cognizant and recognizing the clues before me.

We are responsible for the energy that we bring and our responses to circumstance. Never give away your power and exercise Respond-Ability wisely.

Further, when we are kind we feel better because we are in alignment with our divine nature. When we are unkind, we hurt ourselves.  When we gossip, criticize and malign another we invite that energy and treatment upon ourselves.

People are always waving their flag; it’s our job to pay attention.

Decide who you want to be in the world.



When the Horse Dies Get Off



“Where there is no vision, the people perish…” Proverbs 29:18

I often write about having a clear vision of what you want as an essential component of living your best life. Just as it is important to have a destination in mind on any journey, we must know what we want to be happy. In my work as a coach, I sometimes encounter clients that are unsure of their desires. It isn’t that they don’t know what they want, it’s that they are having difficulty articulating their needs. I tell them to use the polar opposite to get clarity. When you can’t say what you want, usually you are very clear about what you don’t want. For example, a woman could know that she abhors dishonesty which could lead her to fine tune her desire for honesty and integrity in her romantic relationships.

I invite you to envision your perfect romantic relationship. What do you want? Do want you a partnership that includes exercise or physical activity? What about intellectual stimulation? What kinds of things would you like to do for fun? The sky is the limit! Ask for what you want, because anything is possible; however, you will have to relinquish something. To make love welcome you will need to make space for it. Just as you must clean the clutter from closets to accommodate a new wardrobe, you must check your heart and spirit for blocking or negative beliefs. Have you been harboring resentments from past relationships? Are you protecting yourself from being hurt by being unavailable?


Are you hanging onto a relationship that doesn’t meet your needs? Stop it.


When the horse dies, get off.


Release those things, people, and habits that no longer serve you that are preventing you from having the relationship of your dreams. Prepare yourself to receive love. Be kind to yourself, love yourself. The Universe is prepared to meet all of your needs and desires.

Prepare yourself and create space to make love welcome.