Author: Lori

Lori is Certified DreamBuilder Coach. She lives to inspire dramatic and rapid change. Lori is on a mission to team with others to change the world! Everything that is needed to provide for everyone's needs already exists. We need only harness the technology and live our dreams. Change your mind, take a step and make the world a better place.

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Unlock Your Life with Lori A. Harris | Be Her Now

Ep #22: Be Her Now

Unlock Your Life with Lori A. Harris | Be Her Now

When it comes to making a change in your life, you can decide whether to be expansive in your thoughts or constrictive. You can go towards the things that light you up, or you can allow yourself to be defeated and shrink back and think of yourself as smaller than you are.

We have recently been talking about building an attitude of gratitude and this week I’m talking about the next step, which is becoming the woman you want to be. If there is something more in your life that you want, you must actively go after it. You get to decide who you’re going to be, and you get to decide to be her now.

Join me this week as I’m showing you how to consider the woman you want to be and inviting you to step out and be her now. I’m asking you to consider what you need to create a life that excites you and that you love living and showing you how to bring your dreams to fruition.

If you’re enjoying the podcast, I’d love to hear from you! Please share the show with a friend or even better, leave a review to ensure others can benefit from the podcast.

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why you get to decide which emotions you are going to carry with you and how you are going to respond to things.
  • How to generate gratitude for the life you live.
  • Why we must allow ourselves to feel our desires.
  • How to audit your attitude, behavior, and community.
  • Some questions to ask yourself about freedom.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

  • If you’re enjoying the podcast, I’d love to hear from you! Please share the show with a friend or even better, leave a review to ensure others can benefit from the podcast.
  • Click here to access my 7-day gratitude train challenge.
  • Ep #21: Radical Gratitude

Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to episode 22 of the Unlock Your Life podcast. I’m your host Lori Harris, and today we’re talking about what comes next. After you build this attitude of gratitude, what comes next? Well, this is your time to be her now. If there’s something more in your life that you want then be the woman who is. Be her now. Let’s find out what that means. Let’s get going.

Welcome to the Unlock Your Life podcast, a podcast for highly successful visionary women who want more out of life. If you feel that ache of unfulfillment in your soul, you’re in the right place sis. Join life mastery consultant Lori A. Harris as she teaches you how to stop living for others and finally put yourself first. Let’s dive into today’s show.

Welcome back. So in the last week or so, we’ve had a lot of big news. Here in the United States, our emotions have been going all over the place, up and down. People are talking about new variants of the coronavirus. Verdicts in one part of the country and verdicts in another part of the country.

We’re reminded that what’s happening in our lives on a day to day basis, how we respond to it, how we react, that’s all within us. We get to decide who we’re going to be and how we’re going to respond, and if we’re going to allow major news events to take our attention away and off of our goals. Are we going to be the woman that is or are we going to be the woman that’s carried away? We get to decide every day.

So last week I invited you to embark on a seven day experiment. How did it go? We were talking about three different forms of gratitude. There’s gratitude if and when. I’m gratitude when the things that I want to happen happen, I’m grateful. If the things I want to happen happen, I’m grateful. That’s the first phase of gratitude.

Then there’s gratitude for. Gratitude for is I’m grateful for this and I’m grateful for that. I’m grateful for my children. I’m grateful for my spouse. I’m grateful for the sunshine. Then the final more expansive form of gratitude is generative gratitude. Gratitude regardless of outside circumstances.

So with these verdicts, we got a chance to remind ourselves that I am living in this particular moment, in this particular body, and I get to decide what emotions I’m going to have or create or carry with me. Things are happening, and I get to decide how I want to be with that. So be her now is the thing that we’re going to talk about today. Let’s get going.

Be the change you want to see in the world. Mahatma Gandhi is credited with having this pithy phrase, and it’s funny because we’ll see everywhere. We see it as a meme. We see it as a beautiful Instagram post. We see it all over the place. So I’ve invited you to be her now. Be the change you wish to see in the world.

The truth is, Mr. Gandhi actually said a lot more than that just tiny little pithy phrase. What he said was, “If we can change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. We need not wait to see what others do.”

So what I know about my community of listeners, our community of listeners, is most of the people listening to this podcast right now are helpers. Whether we are doctors or lawyers or nurses or running non-profit for purpose organizations, we are all people who deeply care about others and have decided to devote our lives to making the world a better place in the area of our work.

So oftentimes our creative endeavors, our time is traded for money in places where we aspire to make a difference in the world. In order to do that, we have to have real clarity about what the goal is. What the change is that we seek in the world.

So often the clients that I work with will talk about who they want to be. Sometimes they’ll say, “I am raising free Black children.” So what does it mean to raise free Black children? If you are a woman who aspires to raise free Black or brown children, then that’s going to require something of you. In order to have something more or give something more, you first have to embody that quality within yourself. So what would it take for you to walk this earth and stand on this earth as a free Black/brown woman? What would that look like? Who would you be and how would you show up?

So I’m asking you. Are there things you need to step up or step away from in order to be your version of a free woman? What would that look like? So we practice gratitude because we can’t very well get more or have more if we can’t appreciate the place where we find ourselves in and at any given moment. So we look at the circumstances of our lives, and we remind ourselves that we have the ability to respond. We have responsibility.

When I look at the various circumstances or situations that are happening in my life effecting my mood or countenance, I get to remind myself that everything is a result of the thoughts that I’m thinking about them. So at any given moment, our point of power is in the present moment.

So we check in with ourselves, and we ask ourselves who are we being? We remind ourselves that change is inevitable. Change is a good thing. It’s an indication of whatever we make it. So we can decide to be expansive in our thoughts or constrictive in our thoughts. We can go towards the things that light us up or we can allow ourselves to be defeated and shrink back and think of ourselves as smaller than we actually are.

So right now I want to stop and ask you a question. At this moment, at this very moment when you stop and reflect and consider your life, what would it take for you to be free? What would freedom be for you? What is it to be a free woman in your own skin? What would you have to start doing in order to feel and experience more freedom? What are the things that you need to start doing in order to have that right here, right now? Who do you need to be as a free woman?

Then the next question is what do you need to stop doing in order to be a free woman? So how are you going to step up and be it and what are you going to step away from to be it. Being free means making the decisions that are in congruence with freedom for you, which is a very individual and specific experience for yourself.

I believe, and in my observation of seeing people in life, many of the people that we admire most in the world are people who’ve spent some time or period of their own lives in physical incarceration. We’ve witnessed and observed a certain type of independence and transformation occur within them with either actual incarceration or the threat of incarceration. When people have to decide who they’re going to be regardless of their outside circumstances, they are reminded that they are always with themselves. And how they show up and respond to a situation is the freedom in itself.

According to Nelson Mandela, “There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere. Many of us will have to pass through the valley of shadow of death again and again before we reach the mountaintop of our desires.” In order to reach the mountaintop of our desires, we must first allow ourselves to feel them, to become aware of them, to allow our heart’s desire to bubble up. We look toward ourselves and look within ourselves and ask ourselves, “Who am I and what do I really want?”

So in this period of reflection, we’ve gone through our phase of gratitude all of November. In this month of December, I’m going to ask you to reflect and check in with yourself. What went really well in 2021? What did you love about 2021? Then go forward and allow yourself to dream a little. Explore a little. Ask for a little bit more. Be the woman you want to be. Be her now. Ask yourself. What do I need to do in order to make welcome a life that I actually am excited and love living?

As I put my head on the pillow at night, yeah, I’m grateful. When I wake up in the morning, I generate gratitude. I’m grateful and I’m excited to live this life because I know that every day, I’m going to make some decisions that are in keeping and in congruence with being the woman that is free right here and right now. It’s not some faraway place that I’m trying to get to.

I’m making free decisions in this body right here and right now. I am being that woman. I am not a victim of my circumstances. I remind myself this job that I have right now, there was a time that I prayed for this job. So I can find something within this job to be grateful for, and I’m going to be grateful for it.

And I can look towards those areas of my life that create some form of discontent. I can look at it frankly and honestly, and I can look it in the eye and say, “This has got to go. This has got to change.” I allow it to bubble up, and I write it down. I say hm when I think of my longings, I would love to have more of this. When I think of places in my life that are causing me discontent, I would love to have less of this. Then I step out and I be that woman right now.

So if you are a woman who is looking to be a visionary, to make major changes in the world, to get to your next initiative, I want to suggest to you that just as strategic as you are in your workplace. Just as intentional as you are with the organizations that you run and the people that you serve.

I’m asking you to look at your own life and be intentional with that. Ask yourself, “What do I really want?” At least be willing to look at it and write it down. What is causing me pain at this given moment? Look at that and write it down. Then we will take additional steps to move forward to make a change. So we’re going to be auditing our attitudes, auditing our behaviors, and auditing our community this month in December for a month of reflection, growth, and gratitude.

Thank you for listening to this episode of the Unlock Your Life podcast. I’m your host Lori, and we were talking about this week be her now. Be the woman who is. Do the things that light you up. Your goals, your dream life, your visionary experience, and exploration is happening right here in this moment.

If you can take the steps that align with that, you will have a greater day to day experience of a life that you love living. So first step, look at your life, look at your choices, write them down. I’d like more of this and less of that. Allow those things to bubble up, and then we can move forward.

Thank you for listening to the Unlock Your Life podcast. This was episode 22, and we were talking about be her now. Make a decision for the life that you would absolutely love living and take a step in that direction. If you’ve enjoyed listening to the podcast, I’d ask that you look us up on Apple podcasts. There you can follow, rate, and review the show. I’d love it if you would share it with one of your friends. If you have got great value from this podcast, share it with a friend so that we can grow our community. It’s your life. Make it a great one.

Thanks for listening to this episode of the Unlock Your Life podcast. If you want more information on how you can transform your life and do it quickly, visit loriaharris.com. See it on the next episode of the Unlock Your Life podcast.

Enjoy the Show?

Listen on Apple PodcastsListen on SpotifyListen on Stitcher

Unlock Your Life with Lori A. Harris | Radical Gratitude

Ep #21: Radical Gratitude

Unlock Your Life with Lori A. Harris | Radical Gratitude

Happy Thanksgiving! I love this time of year as we close out a season with the opportunity to reflect and remind ourselves of everything we have to be grateful for. There is power and liberation in developing the skill to generate gratitude regardless of our outside circumstances, and I’m showing you how to use this radical gratitude to transform your life.

There will always be things we would prefer not to experience, but growth comes when we look for the good. So I invite you to look for the good even in those situations that aren’t easy, because doing this can free you up from waiting for conditions to change and help you regain authority over your life.

In this episode, I’m showing you how to be generative in your radical gratitude, and how doing so will help you create a transformative life. I’m sharing some exercises to help you express gratitude and inviting you to engage in an experiment that, if you fully commit and participate, will be life-changing for you.

If you’re enjoying the podcast, I’d love to hear from you! Please share the show with a friend or even better, leave a review to ensure others can benefit from the podcast.

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • The 3 levels of gratitude.
  • How to express gratitude regardless of situations or circumstances.
  • What generative gratitude is and why it is so important.
  • How to actively choose gratitude in all areas of your life.
  • 3 questions to ask yourself to help you intentionally practice gratitude.
  • How to find some gratitude even in the darkest moments.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

  • If you’re enjoying the podcast, I’d love to hear from you! Please share the show with a friend or even better, leave a review to ensure others can benefit from the podcast.
  • Click here to access my 7-day gratitude train challenge.

Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to Episode 21 of the Unlock Your Life podcast. I’m your host Lori Harris. Let’s get it going.

Welcome to the Unlock Your Life podcast, a podcast for highly successful visionary women who want more out of life. If you feel that ache of unfulfillment in your soul, you’re in the right place, sis. Join life mastery consultant Lori A. Harris as she teaches you how to stop living for others and finally put yourself first. Let’s dive into today’s show.

So, let’s celebrate in this season of reflection. I’m recording this a week out from Thanksgiving Day, and this recording will be released on Thursday, Thanksgiving Day. And I love this time of year because we’re coming around the corner. We’re closing out a season. And we start that closeout time—that closeout period, with reflection. It’s a great time to reflect, remember, and remind ourselves of what we have to be grateful for.

That is what’s happening at this time of the year. It’s my favorite time of the year. So, this week I am going to invite you to engage in an experiment. And experiment in gratitude such that I suspect that if you fully commit and fully participate, it will be transformative, a life-changing exercise that you will want to continue.

When we talk about gratitude, there are three levels of gratitude. The first level is the gratitude in. I- N. And it’s grounded in a kind of if/when thinking. It’s very condition-based. So, if something happens, then I feel grateful. When something happens, then I allow myself to be grateful. It is reactive rather than generative. And it’s extremely condition-based.

So, there’s three levels of gratitude, gratitude based on if and when is the lowest form of gratitude. And all forms of gratitude are great. There are three levels, and any form of gratitude is better than in gratitude. But if/when gratitude, conditioned-based gratitude is at first level, the lowest level of gratitude, and we want to move up the spiral. So, we keep going.

Our next form of gratitude, gratitude form number two, is gratitude for, F- O-R. It’s a more expansive form of gratitude. It still has a bit of attachment to it. It’s an attachment to form. It’s an attachment to experience. It’s the phase one of developing a generative gratitude. It’s not bad, but it still is somewhat condition-based. So, you look for what is happening, and it’s a form of natural appreciation. There’s a trigger you appreciate and express gratitude for. That’s number two.

The greatest and the most empowering form of gratitude is number three. Gratitude in, and that’s a generative form of gratitude. And that form of gratitude is more expansive. It allows us to experience a greater sense of wonder and awe in the world because it reminds us of being grateful, regardless of circumstances, regardless of situations.

In all things, be grateful. In whatever condition I am in, find a place to be grateful. So, considerate. We have the disciple, Paul. He’s imprisoned in a Roman prison. And even though we know today, the prison is a difficult place to be, particularly here in the United States and many other places in the world. A Roman prison in ancient times was even more difficult. Picture filth, vermin, tainted food, tainted water, being surrounded by vermin and disease. And in this place, we hear the disciple Paul say, in all things, be grateful.

So, there is a power. There is a liberation in developing the skill to generate gratitude, regardless of outside circumstances. It gives us authority over our life. It frees us up from waiting for conditions to change. And when we live a life in gratitude, we are dealing with one of the greatest forms of currency there is. It’s generative, and when we are in harmony with it, we generate a life that we absolutely love living.

Because we are not waiting for something else to change, we are not waiting for conditions. We are generating good thoughts. We’re generating a vision, and we’re taking action from that vision. So, regardless of conditions, we generate gratitude. No matter what happens, we decide to let gratitude be the dominant thought of our consciousness. And in so doing, we create the power to change. The power to change our circumstances is unleashed. And matter changes and is plastic to our thinking. And so, when we can be grateful in our thoughts, we can generate a life that we absolutely love living. And so, we know that growth comes when we look for the good.

We look for the good when it isn’t easy. We align with the power and conditions and decide who we are going to be and how we are going to show up? And so, we think things into existence. Before we can see, we get in tune with it and an alignment with them. And we create a transformative life. And so, we have an opportunity to praise, regardless of circumstance. How can we be generative in our gratitude? We can think thoughts of gratitude. We can look for places to express gratitude in our daily lives.

Whether it is at the coffee shop or the fast-food place we are rolling through. We can look someone in the eye and express our gratitude. So, when we are doing that, we want to be specific. It’s more than, oh, thank you so much. We can raise the level of energy in any given situation or space by looking at the word praise. Contained within the word praise is raise. So, let’s raise the vibration.

And how do you do that with your gratitude? When you allow yourself to express thanks, be specific? So, perhaps you’ve gone to your local coffee shop, and you encounter the barista, and you allow yourself to really appreciate all that went into creating this really gorgeous cup of coffee for you. Think about the soil, seeds, and those who toiled and tilled the soil and then harvested the beans that created your coffee. The people who roasted and imported and brought your coffee to the coffee shop. The water that produced and heated and was transformed from one phase to a phase changed to boiling, creating something new when introduced to your coffee.

Then, there is the barista—the person on the other side of the counter. Consider the effort and care that went into creating this cup of coffee. Did you get some milk added to it? Did they add a little design to the foam that was created? Allow yourself to really enjoy this hot delicious frothy cup of coffee. And then look this person in the eye and tell them what you appreciate about them. Thank you for having such a positive attitude. Thank you for always greeting me with a smile. Thank you for looking me in the eye. Thank you for all the care you put into making this coffee shop a joy to come into. Thank you. Look them in the eye, be specific, and express your gratitude.

Consider the work you’ve done, the person you are being, the things you are working on, praise, raise your own consciousness within yourself, and tell yourself good job. I am proud of you for keeping on top of it, for making the steps, making progress, making the effort, and staying on top of your game. I am proud of you and allow yourself to feel that sense of accomplishment and thanksgiving within yourself.

Here is an opportunity for you at this moment to celebrate gratitude. I invite you at this moment to consider one person in your life. Think about who they are, how they show up for you. And what is one quality that you love and appreciate about them? Allow that thought to rise up within you. Think about this person and send grateful thoughts to them.

Second opportunity, think of an experience that you have had recently. Allow yourself to go to that place, mentally in your mind. Allow yourself to be in the moment and think of what was it about that experience? What was it about that location that helped you to feel really grateful? And then, for your final exercise for a grateful moment, think of something you have recently experienced that awakened a sense of awe and wonder within you. Remember that moment. What was it about it that awakened awe? What was it about it that opened your heart to a new experience? Allow yourself to really conjure and appreciate that moment.

Now, I am going to invite you to join me in a gratitude experiment. This is a gratitude challenge. For the next seven days, I invite you to practice radical gratitude. Know that each day you awaken, remember there is someone who didn’t wake up. And through no power of your own, your heart continues to beat. Your lungs continue to expand. Your eyes continue to do the work that they are doing. Allow yourself to really appreciate and experience radical gratitude.

In every life, there’s going to be some things that we would prefer not to do. We would prefer not to experience it. We would prefer that it just didn’t happen. I invite you to look for the good even those situations. When you encounter something that you doggone, just didn’t want to happen, and look for the good. Look for the growth. Look for the seed of possibility and potential. Allow it to be expressed. And allow yourself to remember that you can have a situation without having that situation take over your life and tell you who you are going to be.

For the next seven days, I invite you to join me in an experiment. Let’s amplify gratitude. For the next seven days each night, think of five separate, new, and different things to write in a gratitude journal. Get a fresh piece of paper, a fresh place to record, and make the experience new for yourself. Name it, name your gratitude for it and write it with specificity. Write five things for the next seven days, and at the end of the seven days, you will have 35 brand new, never before experienced, and appreciated opportunities. Write them down and go beyond the surface. Really dig deep within yourself to allow yourself to really feel what you are appreciating in this moment.

Then in each morning, choose gratitude. In all the conditions that you find yourself decide to be grateful. Ask yourself what can I be grateful for in this moment? And at this moment, right now, as this podcast is coming to an end, ask yourself three questions. Will I actually participate in the seven-day experiment, the seven-day challenge? Will you commit? Will you commit to this opportunity for growth and expansion? If the answer is yes, what time will you do it? What time in the morning, what time in the evening will you intentionally practice gratitude?

And finally, what activity can you link it to that you can remember? Oh, when I do X, this is when I appreciate and express my gratitude and write it down. Whenever I suggest something to you, I’m never asking you to do something that I’m not actually doing myself. So, I am going to join you on a seven-day gratitude experiment and experience. What time will I do it? I will do it each evening between 10:30 and 11 before I go to bed. I will write and express five moments of gratitude. And in the morning, when I rise, I will express my gratitude, yet again, before I put my feet on the floor. And what I will link it to is the pillows on my bed.

I love my bed. I think it is beautiful. And I have all these very decorative pillows on them. So, when I remove my pillows in the evening, I will allow myself to be reminded that I am going to practice gratitude by writing in my gratitude journal. In the morning, before I put my feet on the floor, when I rise, wake up, and look at the ceiling, I will be triggered by looking at the ceiling light and remind myself of practicing my gratitude.

When we are building a new habit, it’s great to have it with specificity to connect it to its specific time and place and to connect it with an activity that we are already going to do. So that we can build that habit and create a chain reaction. This has been Unlock Your Life podcast, episode #21. It is November 2021, and we are celebrating and rejoicing at the end of this year. This is a time of reflection. We are reflecting on who we have been and who we want to be as we go into the New Year. As we go, we’re reminded that gratitude is the currency of abundance. We cannot generate more until we are grateful for the experience that we are having. We are grateful in the moment that we are in. We’re not trying to get somewhere else. We appreciate where we find ourselves right now. We are reminded to practice gratitude and generate gratitude in regardless of situations.

I have a friend who suffered a huge loss. When she lost her baby boy, and I recall and was moved that she was still able to practice gratitude at the time of his death. She was grateful for the son that he was, for the joy that he brought to her life, and finally, even in her darkest moment, she was able to say, I am so grateful that as he died that he did not harm anyone else with the activity that caused his death. I am so grateful he didn’t hurt anyone else. I’m so grateful for the opportunity that, as an organ donor, he continues to give life and possibility to someone else. And so, even in her darkest moment, she was able to find some moment of gratitude.

So, as the yin and the yang look on the white side, there is a dot. On the dark side, there is a dot. Within every experience, some good can be located if we are only willing to just look for it. I invite you to do this, as well.

This has been Unlock Your Life podcast, and I’m your host, Lori Harris. If you have enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend. I would love it if you would go to Apple Podcasts, follow, and rate the show. As you leave a review, it helps us to grow our audience. Thank you for listening; it’s your life. Make it a great one.

Thanks for listening to this episode of the Unlock Your Life podcast. If you want more information on how you can transform your life and do it quickly, visit loriaharris.com. See it on the next episode of the Unlock Your Life podcast.

Enjoy the Show?

Listen on Apple PodcastsListen on SpotifyListen on Stitcher