Author: Lori

Lori is Certified DreamBuilder Coach. She lives to inspire dramatic and rapid change. Lori is on a mission to team with others to change the world! Everything that is needed to provide for everyone's needs already exists. We need only harness the technology and live our dreams. Change your mind, take a step and make the world a better place.

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Unlock Your Life | What Are Your Core Values?

Ep #47: What Are Your Core Values?

Unlock Your Life | What Are Your Core Values?

Do you know what your core values are? Core values are the guiding light, the driving principles that move you through your life. And when you are clear about your core values, they will help your decision-making, the way you live your life, and how you form relationships.

So how can you determine what your core values are? How can you use your core values to move toward the things that light you up? That’s exactly what we’re talking about this week.

In this episode, I’m showing you how to get clear on your core values and use them to make decisions in alignment with the person you aspire to be. I’m showing you how your core values can support you in creating a life you love, sharing some of my own core values and beliefs, and some questions you can ask yourself to identify yours.

If you would like some help with figuring out how to listen to your intuition and show up and serve in the world, I’d love to help! I can help you create a vision for a life that you absolutely love living. Click here to arrange a session with me.

If you’re enjoying the podcast, please share the show with a friend or, even better, leave a review to ensure others can benefit from it too!

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • What core values are and how they impact the way you live your life.
  • One of the main things that lights me up.
  • Some of the organizations that I support due to my core values.
  • Three things to reflect on each night regarding your core values.
  • How I am clear about the things that matter to me.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

  • If you’re enjoying the podcast, I’d love to hear from you! Please share the show with a friend or even better, leave a review to ensure others can benefit from the podcast.
  • Click here to access my 7-day gratitude train challenge.

Full Episode Transcript:

Do you know what your core values are? Core values can be the guiding light, the guiding principles that move you through your life. When you’re clear about your core values, it will help you in decision making and how you live your life. This week we’re going to finish up with the area of vocation by looking at our core values. What are our core values, and when do we make decisions that are in alignment with it so that we can be the person that we aspire to be? That is in integrity. Let’s get going.

Welcome to the Unlock Your Life podcast, a podcast for highly successful visionary women who want more out of life. If you feel that ache of unfulfillment in your soul, you’re in the right place sis. Join life mastery consultant Lori A. Harris as she teaches you how to stop living for others and finally put yourself first. Let’s dive into today’s show.

So recently I was approached and given an opportunity to do some consultant work. The first person that asked me about it I was like oh no. I don’t do that. Then another person approached me and asked me to do the same work in a different kind of way. When they asked me about it, my whole being said oh yeah. Hell yeah. When I felt that feeling, I knew that this was something that I wanted to go toward rather than shrink away from.

Why did I know that? Well, partly because I’m very clear about the things that matter to me. I know that I’ve shared with you that the main thing that lights me up, that gets me going, is living a life of freedom and helping others to do the same. So when I was offered this consultancy work, I heard it from the point of view of oh, this expands my mission. This allows me to do more to help more people experience more freedom. It feels like a hell yeah. So I continue to move forward, to move toward that opportunity.

Now, how can you use your core values to move toward the things that light you up? Well, first of all, we have to be clear about what our core values are. This week on the podcast we’re going to talk about how does one get clear about our core values?

Now, core values are the things that help you in making life’s decisions. They are the big rocks, the boulders of your life. We refer to our core values over and over again in our decision making, whether it’s for things big or small. They impact us as we decide who we are going to be and who we’re going to associate with. So we use our core values to decide where I will form friendships, to decide with whom will I form a romantic relationship? Even how we will make a living.

They are the major who am I kind of questions, and what do I believe? Does this particular action align with my core values? It’s one of my favorite questions because when I ask that question, any sense of doubt or lack of clarity clears up right away because I know what matters to me most. So when I asked myself does this align with my core values? It helps me to stay on track within the white lines of my life.

So I’m looking for integrity. I’m looking for alignment. How can you make a decision about your own core values? How can you get clarity about what are my core values?

One thing you can do is look at your own calendar. When you look at your calendar and you see where you have decided to put your time and energy in a forward motion, it can tell you this is what’s important to me. This matters to me. Sometimes you’ll look at your calendar and say, “Oh, I’m a little out of balance. I have more things in the this matters to other people category rather than it matters to me.” So you want to look at your calendar and make sure it’s reflective of the kind of person you want to be.

The other thing you can do is look at your checkbook. I know most of us are not really writing physical checks anymore, but you can review your accounts and see where you are putting your other form of energy, your monetary form of energy, and it will tell you a lot.

Now, for me, because I really care about freedom and liberation, there are certain organizations that I donate to on a regular repeated basis from the point of view of my tithing or giving the first fruits of my labor. There are places that go automatically. Generally, they’re things that support my own spiritual development, have been important to me for keeping balance for me. So they get paid first.

The other things that get paid first are the things that matter to me in terms of who am I and what do I believe? Do I support the organizations that light me up? So I donate to organizations that help people in the reentry process from leaving places of incarceration because I fundamentally believe in second chances.

I know that there are organizations out there that align with my core beliefs, and I want to support them not only mentally and spiritually, but I want to put my money where my mouth is and give them the tools that they need and make them fundamentally a part of my practice by providing financial support.

The other thing I believe in is we all should have clean water, and our lives shouldn’t be revolving around fetching water. So by donating to organizations that supply clean water opportunities around the world, I feel as though I’m supporting women. I’m supporting young people developing lives where they can flourish and dream and fulfill their own purpose rather than spending the lion’s share of their day fetching water.

I am so grateful that my life doesn’t revolve around fetching water. So I want to support organizations that support young girls and women in not having to spend the lion’s share of their day in fetching water.

The other thing that I love to donate to that I make it a priority that’s part of my first fruit is organizations that feed. Because you can’t experience freedom if your basic needs are not being met. So if people are going to school hungry, they’re not going to do as well as they could if they went to school with full bellies. So I’d like these organizations that help people with feeding their families, with feeding themselves, and providing basic sustenance.

So if you looked at my checkbook, you would see that on a regular, repeated, predictable basis, these are the causes that I’m giving my money to. The other things you might see is Lori goes to Starbucks a lot. Sometimes that’s in alignment with where I’m at in a particular time in my life, and sometimes I’ll have to look at that and say, “You know what? That’s not really where I want to be spending that part of my energy. I don’t want to be giving my money to that.”

Another thing that I noticed is, I try to stay out of Target because Target inspires a lot of impulse buying. I have to check in with myself and say is this what I want to be doing? Am I being the kind of person that I want to be? Am I investing this part of my energy in places that align with my core values?

So just deciding oh, those are cute shoes. Yeah, those are cute shoes, but do I need those shoes? Oftentimes, I’m coming back to no. I don’t need those shoes. Why do I not need those shoes? Because I want to have a higher quality of product for me. Like you know what? I know that in the end these shoes will just end up in the trash. I know that in the end these shoes may not be reliable. They may break on me. I know, in the end, these shoes won’t feel good on my feet.

So rather than get caught up in oh those are cute and they’re on sale, I pull back and say hmm, is that how I really want to be spending my life force of money by investing in things, a cheaper product quality wise from a store like Target? So I just say no. That’s a no. That’s going to be a no for me.

So how can you determine what your core values are? Well, we’ve done time study checks in the past, and this is going to be a core value check. For one week, I invite you to reflect nightly on three things. What happened today? What are the things that happened today? Did they leave me feeling good or bad? What kinds of things did I do today? Did I feel useful and purposeful? What were the things that I did that felt useful and purposeful?

Then looking around and seeing the people in my life or that I interacted with today. Are people doing things that I look up to and admire? What kinds of things am I giving my attention to? Did things happen today that I disliked? That I don’t want to be associated with?

As you do this, you will start to notice. So you get to the end of the week, you have these three themes that you’ve been looking at. What happened? Did I feel good? Do I feel bad? Did I feel useful? Did I feel purposeful? Was there something that I saw that I admired or that I disliked? Over the week’s time, you will learn something about yourself. From those things, you will be able to pick out these things are things that I want more of or I want less of.

So, do your core value check. Spend one week reflecting each evening on three things. What happened today? Where did I feel good? Where did I feel bad? Where did I feel useful? Where did I feel purposeful? What did I see that I admired? What did I see that I disliked?

You will discover there are some themes rising up for you. Perhaps it’s creativity. Perhaps it’s learning. Perhaps it’s freedom. Perhaps it’s curiosity. You will notice things. Maybe it’s kindness, maybe it’s compassion, maybe it’s empathy. When you notice these things, these are the things that you can go towards that will be a guiding light for you in living a life of integrity and great purpose.

Check in. What are your core values? Then it will help you in decision making to decide does this align with being the kind of person I want to be? Am I being in integrity with myself? It will help you in deciding how to resolve conflicts. It will help you in deciding with whom to spend your time. Where do you want to cut ties? Where do you want to build ties? What do you want to do with your life?

You can look at your life’s work in vocation and say is this work, this place where I spend the lion’s share of my day, is it in alignment with my core values? Go toward the things that support you in being the kind of person that you want to be, that support you in being the person in the vision that you’ve created for yourself, for the life that you want to live.

Thank you so much. This has been episode 47 of the Unlock Your Life podcast. If you’ve enjoyed this episode, I would invite you to share it with a friend. You can also go anywhere you listen to podcasts and rate, follow, and review the show. You can find us at Apple podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere that’s your favorite platform.

When you review and rate the show, it helps the show to grow and for other people to widen our audience. When you share it with a friend, it helps them to know what are your core values? What are the things that light you up? What are the things that you think might be helpful to them? It’s a win-win all around. Thank you so much for listening, and I look forward to talking to you again next week after this episode. So remember, it’s your life. Make it a great one.

Thanks for listening to this episode of the Unlock Your Life podcast. If you want more information on how you can transform your life and do it quickly, visit loriaharris.com. See it on the next episode of the Unlock Your Life podcast.

Enjoy the Show?

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Unlock Your Life | You Do Not Need To Be Perfect

Ep #46: You Do Not Need To Be Perfect

Unlock Your Life | You Do Not Need To Be Perfect

In the age of social media and cancel culture and everybody having their own miniature glass microphone in their pocket, it can be tempting to shrink and shy away and refuse to offer the help you know you have and want to share. It can be tempting to think that we have to be perfect.

But do you want to know a secret? We are the helpers, the givers, the ones who love to love. And we are not required to be perfect. None of us are perfect, but being honest and upfront about our situations is far more valuable to the community we serve.  

In this episode, I’m sharing five tools I rely upon to keep myself in the game and that will help you keep going when everything doesn’t look perfect. Hear some thought paradigms that can keep you stuck and prevent you from offering your gifts to the world and the importance of allowing yourself to be honest, authentic, vulnerable, and imperfect.

If you would like some help with figuring out how to listen to your intuition and show up and serve in the world, I’d love to help! I can help you create a vision for a life that you absolutely love living. Click here to arrange a session with me.

If you’re enjoying the podcast, please share the show with a friend or, even better, leave a review to ensure others can benefit from it too!

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why you are not required to have all the answers to everything.
  • What we really need to be able to do to help another person.
  • How to keep going when everything doesn’t look perfect.
  • Why you don’t have to be perfect to help people.
  • What to do if you are questioning your worth as a helper.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

  • If you’re enjoying the podcast, I’d love to hear from you! Please share the show with a friend or even better, leave a review to ensure others can benefit from the podcast.
  • Click here to access my 7-day gratitude train challenge.

Full Episode Transcript:

So, do you love people and do you love helping? I suspect that you do. That’s the lion’s share of the people I find in my audience. We are the helpers. We are givers. We are the ones who love to love, to love on other people. Want to know a little secret? The hardest part about endeavoring to be a transformational coach is to remember I don’t have to be perfect. I don’t have any answers. I don’t have to have any answers.

But when my own personal life goes to hell in a handbasket, it’s hard to keep going. Have you ever had that experience where you look at your own life and you’re going, “Girl, please. Who should listen to you?” We’re gonna talk about how to keep going when everything doesn’t look perfect. Let’s get going.

Welcome to the Unlock Your Life podcast, a podcast for highly successful visionary women who want more out of life. If you feel that ache of unfulfillment in your soul, you’re in the right place sis. Join life mastery consultant Lori A. Harris as she teaches you how to stop living for others and finally put yourself first. Let’s dive into today’s show.

So it’s really interesting that one engages in work of being a helper. It’s so tempting to think that oh in order to be a helper, I have to be perfect. While everyone knows intellectually, one, no one is perfect. And two, in order to be a helper, you don’t have to be perfect.

In the age of social media and what people call cancel culture and everyone having their own little miniature glass microphone in their pocket, it can be tempting to shrink and shy away and refuse to offer the help that you know that you have and want to share. It can be really tempting to do that. But the truth is, we are not required to be perfect in order to be helpful.

So in this month of May, the month of vocation where we are considering our callings, I want to talk to you about how to keep going in the work while everything at home might feel a little shaky. Might feel less than perfect.

So I am a person, and frequently things come up. While I love serving my clients and when I’m actively engaged in the practice of coaching, I really love it. I don’t really have any trouble doing it. It’s in the spaces in between that sometimes things can get a little dark. Sometimes I can have a question about should I even be doing this? Who am I to say?

Those times usually come up when I’m in conflict with another person. Someone that I love, someone that I care about, and things are going less than perfectly. I have a desire that we experience more connection. I have a desire that our relationship experiences a healing. But on the way to that I can experience some sorrow about the state of affairs at the time.

It’s very tempting to engage in a practice of giving the situation more meaning than it deserves. Attaching meanings to the situation that are not accurate or true, and attaching meaning to the situation and its application to my life and my vocation.

As a person who is using this work as a transformational coach to expand my ripple, to help more people have more life, build a life they’d love, and experience more freedom, that is my mission. It can be tempting to think, “Oh, I am only allowed to do that when everything is going perfectly in my life.” Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever felt like I can only be helpful if everything is perfect for me? That is a paradigm, a thought pattern, a way of thinking that can keep us stuck, and keep us from offering our gifts to the world.

So if you have a calling that requires you to show up and to be a giver and to offer assistance to others, I implore you to resist the urge to require that kind of perfection from yourself. Instead, I have a few tools that I rely upon to keep myself in the game and to simply keep going.

What’s the first thing I do? I remember my why. I go back to why is the work important? Why do I want to do it? Who is it that I want to serve? When I remember my why then I’m reminded that I’m only here to serve. Only here to help those people who would find it helpful. So when I can remember my why, then I remind myself to stay in service, to move my ego aside, and to remember why I got into the business in the first place.

Secondly, I’m reminded we don’t have to do anything alone. Just as I provide coaching and assistance to my clients, I have a coach, and I get assistance for myself. So it helps me because it keeps me in integrity. It’s one thing to say this is really important work and you really will improve your life and experience a healing if you engage in it and talk about it. It’s another to model it.

So just as I love on my clients when things are going less than perfectly in their lives, I allow myself to be served in that way and have someone be prepared to remind me of what it’s true, to see me outside of the frame, and to help me gather myself and get to the other side.

Another thing that I like to do is to rely on and remember the training. When it’s tempting to go down the rabbit hole of everything is falling apart, everything is terrible. I remember the training. I remember the things that I would share with my clients, and I can self-coach myself, and remind myself of what I know to be true. I’m reminded that the training is inside of me. I can trust it. I can lean on it. I can let it help me when I don’t have the strength to hold it all up by myself.

There was a time when I was having a conflict, and I was upset, and I had to do a jury trial. I just didn’t feel like doing it. However, it didn’t matter because I was active and engaged. The training that was so deeply ingrained in me was so deeply ingrained that I could almost do it on autopilot. My brain would hear something, and if it’s objectionable, it would object even when I really just wanted to go home and be under the covers.

So allow yourself to be aided by your training. Whatever it is in your profession that you do as a helper, remember, you are a trained professional, and you can rely on the training to take you through and to be infused in your gut to make it possible for you to keep going. Again, don’t require yourself to be perfect. None of us are perfect.

When you can be honest and upfront with your situation, it’s far more valuable to the community that we serve that we share the truth of who we are and how we move through life using the tips and tools that we’ve learned and been trained in in order to help not only ourselves, but to help our clients as well. So be vulnerable, be honest, be authentic, be real, but don’t try to be perfect.

The last thing is remember you don’t have to know all the answers. You don’t even really have to know any answers. What we need to be able to do to help another person is just be one step ahead. So if you know the way and you’ve gone a little bit further on the trail and you’re a little bit higher on the hill, you have perspective. You have a vision, and you’ve gone a little bit further.

You’re able to offer a little bit of guidance. And that has value. You don’t have to know everything, but you can offer what you do know. Let yourself be that guide even if you’re only one or two rungs ahead on the ladder.

So as a person who is a member of this community endeavoring to have an impact, endeavoring to help people and to change lives and make lives better, be kind to yourself. Don’t require that you know all the things and have all the answers. Allow yourself some modicum of imperfection. Watch the growth that you will experience and be able to share in your practice as a helper and a healer.

The five tips that I gave to you in order to keep going when you’re experiencing a difficult time in your personal life that makes you question whether or not you have value in your professional life. Start with why. Remember why you want to do this work. Stay in service. Set your ego aside and remember, you love people, and you love helping. If you stay in service, you will be able to keep going.

Two, don’t go it alone. Just as you love to help other people and benefit by giving assistance and insight to others, don’t go it alone. Allow yourself to be nourished and assisted as well. Get the services for yourself that you encourage your clients to get.

Three, remember the training, trust the training, and know that the training will see you through. It’s deeply ingrained in you. You can rely on that and depend on that to keep you going. Don’t expect or require perfection. It’s not going to happen. It’s a trap to keep you from making progress, to keep you stuck.

So allow yourself to grow and experience growth that each of life experiences come to come and help you and to teach you. Get the learning, get the experience, and share the truth of your experience, the truth of your being. Be vulnerable, be authentic, be real, and watch how you grow and your clients continue to grow as well.

Remember, you don’t have to have it all answered. You don’t have to know all the trail. You just have to be one step ahead, a couple of rungs up higher on the ladder, higher on the mountain to enjoy a higher view to give some guidance to how far you’ve come and what to watch out for.

This is what we do as helpers. This is what we do as changemakers. This is what we do when we’ve decided that we want to expand our ripple, experience more freedom, and bring more people along the trail with us. This is the beauty of being a person in service. I know that’s what you love doing, and I love it too. I want to help all of you have a good, good, good experience.

This has been episode 46 of the Unlock Your Life podcast. Thank you so much for listening. If you’ve enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend. If you know someone who’s having difficulty keeping going or questioning their worth as a helper, remind them and give them a new perspective on why their work is important, why they are just the person to do it at this particular time. This is a great way to be reminded of the service.

You can share this episode with a friend. You can go to loriaharris.com/number46 and that will take them directly to the episode. If you’ve enjoyed it, please share it with a friend. You can also find information about me and my services there where you can sign up for my newsletter where I contact people once a week, let you know what I’m up to, how I’m helping, and who I’m serving, and who’s benefited from the work in the last few days.

Thank you for listening. If you’ve enjoyed this episode, go to Apple podcasts, follow, rate, and review the show. I’d love a five star review, and I’d love to hear from you on what you think might be helpful to make the show even better. Thank you for listening. And remember, it’s your life. Make it a great one.

Thanks for listening to this episode of the Unlock Your Life podcast. If you want more information on how you can transform your life and do it quickly, visit loriaharris.com. See it on the next episode of the Unlock Your Life podcast.

Enjoy the Show?

Listen on Apple PodcastsListen on SpotifyListen on Stitcher